A third-side look at the recent news story about the Texas Board of Education allegedly forcing Bible study. Also, a Satanic review of the 2026 movie Citizen Vigilante, and the origins of the Satanic ritual phrase, “Move and appear”.
Many have asked how they can support Satansplain. Well, here’s how! Create an account on Locals.com and join the Satansplain channel at satansplain.locals.com. It’s free. If you’d additionally like to show your support, become a subscriber for $5 a month. You can get the first month free if you use the promo code mentioned in the latest Satansplain episode.
So what the heck is Locals? Locals is a special website for content creators and their audiences. What will you see when you sign up and go to the Satansplain channel? Right now, I have written transcriptions of the first 30 or 40 episodes, but I’m planning on adding more soon: unreleased essays, photos from Satanism events, live streams, and who knows what else. Let’s take this one step at a time.
In honor of America’s 250th anniversary, I put this music article together. It was originally planned to be posted on churchofsatan.com on July 4th, but technical problems beyond my control have stalled that. In the meantime, it’s available to subscribers on Locals: https://satansplain.locals.com/upost/8046046/at-the-devils-ball
No, Anton LaVey did not refer to Satanism as a “new conservative movement” in a 1970 issue of McCall’s magazine, as some liars claim. But we’ll take a full look at that long lost article anyway, showcasing one of many journalist’s entertaining reports from the early years of the Church of Satan.
00:00 – Intro 00:57 – Where is episode 119? 02:03 – Questions about Judith Rascoe’s “San Francisco’s Church of Satan”, 1970 McCall’s article 04:18 – Politics redux 10:47 – About that article 14:45 – Does anyone know? Apparently not. 17:19 – What to expect 25:58 – McCall’s Article 29:12 – Anton LaVey 34:29 – The Satanic Bible 38:31 – Would you like to see the rest of the house? 41:50 – Satanic ritual 48:53 – After ritual
Recently, Reverend Jared Mammon of the Church of Satan was interviewed on a podcast whose host tried to sneak in some post-production rebuttals. Satansplain invites Jared to share a listen and his responses.
01:00:00 – Intro 01:02:08 – “Once again, that isn’t Satanism” (Facebook) 01:03:40 – Interviewer’s intro 01:05:04 – Interview start 01:07:50 – Connecting to Satanism 01:11:15 – Satanic Bible “Interpretations”? 01:13:01 – Hunting for contradictions / “can pseudos infiltrate the COS?” 01:17:58 – Seeing oneself in TSB 01:19:36 – More on “interpretations” / percentage arguments [23:49 – PHG 01:23:58 – Oh no, not the “pLAgiARiZed rEDbEArd” argument again 01:35:57 – “Can we quote every single thing you say as being official?” and other lame “Gotcha!” games 01:38:35 – Oh no, not the “dogma” argument again 01:56:03 – Next false dichotomy: “can Satanism evolve (in which case, I’m free to be a pseudo) or is it unchangeable (in which case, you’re a conformist and I win again)”. 01:00:50 – “Can I take everything from the COS website as canonical?” 01:06:00 – Oh no, not the “community” argument again. 01:22:35 – No, Satanic ritual is not “anything goes”. 01:36:00 – Oh no, not the “gatekeeping!” complaint again. 01:40:33 – Oh no, not the “Aren’t you giving your opinion without being asked” argument again. 01:49:19 – “Denominations”? Ugh, here we go. 01:56:45 – Being new to Satanism 01:58:18 – Awesomeism, Schrodinger’s Moron 02:08:53 – Echo chambers / could’ve been worse 02:15:05 – Closing 02:23:43 – Final thoughts
A look back at infamous Church of Satan High Mass, held on 6/6/06. Hear shared memories of that night, related events, and the more general nature of actual Satanic gatherings.
00:00 – Intro 01:24 – Reminder: Satanism is not a congregational religion 03:22 – But Satanists do sometimes get together, by choice! 07:22 – 6/6/06 and why 10:33 – A message from Church of Satan High Priest, Magus Peter H. Gilmore 19:21 – A week in L.A.: Remembering Shawn 23:59 – 2016 reflections on 2006
Are actual Satanists giving prayers to the Devil in government meetings?!? Are certain voters possessed by literal demons?!? The answer to both questions is of course is no. Hear about one lunatic who thinks otherwise, along with equally delusional trolls who help confirm his paranoia, and some political third side observations.
0:00 – Intro 3:58 – Start of Wayne Root’s article 7:52 – Third Side Rant 15:14 – Back to the Article 17:16 – Dumb arguments, from both christards and Solingists 25:06 – Satanic Prayer? 32:48 – Article, continued 39:05 – CombatKimmy 42:09 – More with CombatKimmy 45:58 – Steve Sebelius is a moron
A look at the modern sacred cow of opinion entitlement and its poor justification for faulty thinking and solipsism. Also, the surprising Satanic merits of the classic comedy film “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”, plus some anecdotes from fellow Satanists on when their Satanism being detected or undetected worked in their favor.
00:00 – Intro 01:07 – About the article 02:52 – “No, You’re Not Entitled To Your Opinion” 05:52 – Dunning-Kruger and Solipsism 10:18 – Satanists falling for this? 18:05 – To the “bUt u beLiEvE iN mAgicK!” dorks 18:54 – Article, continued 25:47 – Satanecdote: Stone Cold Steve Anton? 33:15 – “No, dummy, that was Ghandi, not LaVey.” 35:12 – Satanecdote: The Car Boot
Happy 60th anniversary to the Church of Satan! Hear some Church of Satan history, how and when members get together, the anniversary celebrations, why we don’t use grottos, and some trivia about the hidden track on the Satanic Mass album.
00:00 – Intro 01:21 – History quotations 07:16 – More on the Church of Satan 10:29 – Satanists getting together 13:58 – Getting together: bigger numbers 19:13 – Thoughts on the 60th celebration 28:58 – Satanecdote: lesser magic at the pharmacy drive-thru 30:43 – Upcoming episode? 31:36 – Ghost track on “The Satanic Mass” 34:09 – Grottos vs. Internet
Satansplain gives answers to questions on the vague demands for Satanism to “evolve”. Also Satanic films, the mistake of equating structure with conformity, and some stories from fellow Satanists on putting personal desires above counterproductive pride.
COS film list: https://churchofsatan.com/sources-film-list/
00:00 – Intro 01:12 – Questions about “Satanists” in movies (Ready or Not) 04:55 – Ricky Behot’s weird post 10:22 – Ricky’s post, continued 14:01 – “Newest youtube video/podcast?” 18:59 – Satanism and Philosophical Praxis 24:27 – Structure vs. “evolution” 26:33 – More on “evolving” delusions / cafeteria religion people 31:06 – Satanic Anecdotes
The Church of Satan’s FAQ has been expanded with the frequently asked questions (and answers) concerning Satanism and atheism. A comprehensive essay is also now available.
00:00 – Intro 01:29 – Satansplain 101, and the 80-20 Rule 05:57 – “Hey, could you send us pamphlets to upset the fundies?” 06:45 – “How can you be an atheist and a Satanist?” 07:51 – “If you Satanists are atheists, then why not just call yourselves ‘atheists’?” 09:10 – “Is Satanism a religion? Is it a type of atheism? How can Satanism be a religion if Satanists don’t believe in any deities?” 11:18 – “What is the COS doing to fight for [insert favorite cause]?” 14:39 – “How can you be atheists if you believe in magick?” 16:12 – “Wasn’t Satanism INVENTED specifically to troll Christians?” 21:50 – Satanecdote: Priest burger 24:44 – Side rant: fast food workers 27:21 – “Is Satanism just Ayn Rand’s Objectivism, plus ritual? Didn’t LaVey say that?” 29:57 – “Different denominations?” 35:58 – “Was Anton LaVey really a deist or secret theist? And then did Peter H. Gilmore decidedly change Satanism to be atheistic instead?” 39:52 – “Isn’t it wrong to say you’re atheists if it’s possible to be agnostic/deist/apatheist? And how can you be both I-theist and atheist?”