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Satansplain #065 – Satanism vs. Humanism

A look at Satanism and humanism, their similarities and more importantly their differences. Though to do that, we’ll have to first unpack some bigger topics, such as what makes a religion a religion in the first place. Also, some listener mail about Satanists and social media, as well as Satanic baptisms.

00:00 – Intro
01:21 – The Satanic Bible: “Humanism is not a religion”
02:27 – Satanism is a religion. Non-theistic religions exist. Yes, really.
05:16 – Atheism is not a religion. Neither is monotheism.
06:18 – Dogma: Why the Boy Scouts is not a religion
08:32 – The Dogma of Satanism
10:44 – What do we mean by “Humanism” / Renaissance humanism
13:27 – Secular humanism
15:33 – Similarities: Atheism and Freethought
17:24 – How Satanism and secular humanism differ (myth of “The Greater God”, etc.)
29:09 – Satanists on (or aren’t on) social media
33:40 – Satanecdote: Spam from da Hood
35:35 – Getting a Satanic baptism
40:22 – Bill M. is Marq Torien?

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Subscribe to Satansplain on Locals.com

Many have asked how they can support Satansplain. Well, here’s how! Create an account on Locals.com and join the Satansplain channel at satansplain.locals.com. It’s free. If you’d additionally like to show your support, become a subscriber for $5 a month. You can get the first month free if you use the promo code mentioned in the latest Satansplain episode.

So what the heck is Locals? Locals is a special website for content creators and their audiences. What will you see when you sign up and go to the Satansplain channel? Right now, I have written transcriptions of the first 30 or 40 episodes, but I’m planning on adding more soon: unreleased essays, photos from Satanism events, live streams, and who knows what else. Let’s take this one step at a time.

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Satansplain #064 – The Good Old Days

Were the “Good ol’ days” really all that “good”? We’ll explore Anton LaVey’s essay on the topic (spoiler: the answer is, “No!”), and a related college commencement speech from 2024 on the irrationality of claiming collective victim status, paying homage to George Carlin.

00:00 – Intro
00:58 – Satanism and how it relates to this topic
03:56 – “The Good Old Days” by Anton LaVey
20:10 – Satanicdote: Satanism lecture at an ESL class
23:20 – Introduction to the commencement speech
24:24 – “To the Class of 2024: You Are All Diseased”

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Satansplain #063 – The Balance Factor and Satanic Magic

The Balance Factor! Hear how this concept relates to the more broader concept of “magic” in Satanism, which of course means first addressing some misconceptions about Satanic magic itself. Also, answering some listener mail about the “LaVeyan Satanism” misnomer, a history-confused Wiccan, and other questions.

00:00 – Intro

00:56 – Rust’s email

02:06 – What is “The Balance Factor”? Working definition from We Are Satanists.

04:18 – Recap: Satanism is a non-theistic religion and this isn’t supernatural. RTFM.

09:50 – The Balance Factor, and greater magic for “that remaining push needed”

13:38 – The Satanic BIble on “The Balance Factor”

18:12 – Bill’s “ribbon-cutting ceremony” analogy

26:48 – “My Wiccan girlfriend says you should call yourselves ‘neo-Satanists’!”

32:00 – Why the term “LaVeyan Satanism” is a misnomer

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Satansplain #062 – No, QAnon is not a new Satanic Panic (yet?)

Addressing the misconceptions that the QAnon conspiracy theory is the “Satanic Panic 2.0” (it’s not; let’s keep that way), or that “the Satanic Panic never ended” (it did; let’s keep it that way). Also, the difference between personalization and hypocritical self-deceit in the ritual chamber.

00:00 – Intro
01:22 – What was The Satanic Panic?
03:12 – Side note: the curious anti-Semitic origins of these accusations
05:05 – Satanic Panic: it wasn’t just the holy-rollers
10:17 – “Everything is Satanic!”; Dungeons & Dragons; Bob Larson
13:03 – “Michelle Remembers” and false memory syndrome
15:41 – Why the term “LaVeyan Satanism” doesn’t help
17:19 – When the Satanic Panic ended (yes, it did end)
19:19 – What the hell is this “QAnon” thing?
23:04 – Why QAnon is not “Satanic Panic 2.0”
26:32 – Are you sure the “panic” is on the far-RIGHT?
28:37 – Possibilty of a new Satanic Panic and how NOT to fight it
37:45 – Satanecdote
42:38 – Email: “Praying to God” as a Satanic ritual?!?
49:04 – Self-deceit: what it is and isn’t



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Satansplain #061 – The Myth of the “Satanic Community”

There is no “Satanic community”. Learn what Satanists mean by this. Also, Bill answers some listener mail about artificial human companions, doctrines of superiority, and an anecdote about one Satanist’s conspiracy theorist co-worker.

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Satansplain #060 – The 11 Satanic Rules of the Earth

The 11 Satanic Rules of the Earth! While they’re straightforward for most Satanists, Satansplain addresses common questions and misconceptions about things like “lairs”, “mating signals”, “destroying”, “magic”, and other details.

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Satansplain #059 – Dr. Vincent Schitz, PhD in Satanic Memes

Church of Satan Reverend Dave Wallace steps in to interview the team behind the infamous Satanic memes page, “Dr. Vincent Schitz, PhD in Satanic Memes”. Hear all about the history of the page, its past and present meme makers, their creative process, and answers to questions submitted by Dr. Schitz fans. Also, visit the new Satansplain store (store.satansplain.com) for Dr. Schitz merchandise!

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Satansplain Merchandise!

The Satansplain merch store has launched! T-shirts, stickers, phone cases, and more! Go to this link! Order before March 18th for 27% off the normal price! Currently there are only two designs, but you’ll also see one more design each for Dr. Vincent Schitz (from the meme page of the same name) and Satanbear from The Devil’s Mischief.

Click here for the merch store!

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Satansplain #058 – Closet Satanist Relationships, Ritual Elixirs, Video Games, Other Listener Mail

Bill answers listener mail on elixirs in Satanic ritual, indulgences vs. addictions, Satanists in marriage, and other topics.