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Satansplain #116 – “No, You’re Not Entitled to Your Opinion”

A look at the modern sacred cow of opinion entitlement and its poor justification for faulty thinking and solipsism. Also, the surprising Satanic merits of the classic comedy film “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”, plus some anecdotes from fellow Satanists on when their Satanism being detected or undetected worked in their favor.

Article: https://theconversation.com/no-youre-not-entitled-to-your-opinion-9978

00:00 – Intro
01:07 – About the article
02:52 – “No, You’re Not Entitled To Your Opinion”
05:52 – Dunning-Kruger and Solipsism
10:18 – Satanists falling for this?
18:05 – To the “bUt u beLiEvE iN mAgicK!” dorks
18:54 – Article, continued
25:47 – Satanecdote: Stone Cold Steve Anton?
33:15 – “No, dummy, that was Ghandi, not LaVey.”
35:12 – Satanecdote: The Car Boot

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Subscribe to Satansplain on Locals.com

Many have asked how they can support Satansplain. Well, here’s how! Create an account on Locals.com and join the Satansplain channel at satansplain.locals.com. It’s free. If you’d additionally like to show your support, become a subscriber for $5 a month. You can get the first month free if you use the promo code mentioned in the latest Satansplain episode.

So what the heck is Locals? Locals is a special website for content creators and their audiences. What will you see when you sign up and go to the Satansplain channel? Right now, I have written transcriptions of the first 30 or 40 episodes, but I’m planning on adding more soon: unreleased essays, photos from Satanism events, live streams, and who knows what else. Let’s take this one step at a time.

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Satansplain #115 – Church of Satan’s 60th Anniversary

Happy 60th anniversary to the Church of Satan! Hear some Church of Satan history, how and when members get together, the anniversary celebrations, why we don’t use grottos, and some trivia about the hidden track on the Satanic Mass album.

00:00 – Intro
01:21 – History quotations
07:16 – More on the Church of Satan
10:29 – Satanists getting together
13:58 – Getting together: bigger numbers
19:13 – Thoughts on the 60th celebration
28:58 – Satanecdote: lesser magic at the pharmacy drive-thru
30:43 – Upcoming episode?
31:36 – Ghost track on “The Satanic Mass”
34:09 – Grottos vs. Internet

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Satansplain #114 – Satanism “evolution” demands from the unevolved

Satansplain gives answers to questions on the vague demands for Satanism to “evolve”. Also Satanic films, the mistake of equating structure with conformity, and some stories from fellow Satanists on putting personal desires above counterproductive pride.

COS film list: https://churchofsatan.com/sources-film-list/

00:00 – Intro
01:12 – Questions about “Satanists” in movies (Ready or Not)
04:55 – Ricky Behot’s weird post
10:22 – Ricky’s post, continued
14:01 – “Newest youtube video/podcast?”
18:59 – Satanism and Philosophical Praxis
24:27 – Structure vs. “evolution”
26:33 – More on “evolving” delusions / cafeteria religion people
31:06 – Satanic Anecdotes

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Satansplain #113 – Satanism and Atheism FAQ

The Church of Satan’s FAQ has been expanded with the frequently asked questions (and answers) concerning Satanism and atheism. A comprehensive essay is also now available.

00:00 – Intro
01:29 – Satansplain 101, and the 80-20 Rule
05:57 – “Hey, could you send us pamphlets to upset the fundies?”
06:45 – “How can you be an atheist and a Satanist?”
07:51 – “If you Satanists are atheists, then why not just call yourselves ‘atheists’?”
09:10 – “Is Satanism a religion? Is it a type of atheism? How can Satanism be a religion if Satanists don’t believe in any deities?”
11:18 – “What is the COS doing to fight for [insert favorite cause]?”
14:39 – “How can you be atheists if you believe in magick?”
16:12 – “Wasn’t Satanism INVENTED specifically to troll Christians?”
21:50 – Satanecdote: Priest burger
24:44 – Side rant: fast food workers
27:21 – “Is Satanism just Ayn Rand’s Objectivism, plus ritual? Didn’t LaVey say that?”
29:57 – “Different denominations?”
35:58 – “Was Anton LaVey really a deist or secret theist? And then did Peter H. Gilmore decidedly change Satanism to be atheistic instead?”
39:52 – “Isn’t it wrong to say you’re atheists if it’s possible to be agnostic/deist/apatheist? And how can you be both I-theist and atheist?”

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Atheism FAQ & Essay

There are two new pages on Churchofsatan.com:

  1. https://churchofsatan.com/faq-replies-for-atheists/
    The FAQ has been expanded to include FAQs for atheists and other people asking the same sorts of questions. This was written by Rev Jared Mammon and myself.
  2. https://churchofsatan.com/on-the-misconceptions-of-atheism-and-satanism/
    Way back in episode #16 of Satansplain, I did a full examination on these same types of questions and accusations. All of that has now been put in written form here. It’s admittedly quite long. Besides going over the same points in the first link, it also takes a look at the first 3 chapters of the Book of Lucifer from “The Satanic Bible”, answering how the notions of “God” and “Satan” actually fit into Satanism’s worldview. It’s more or less a transcription of Satansplain episode #16.

Some related links:

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Satansplain #112 – Spring, Sigils, Victims, and Solipsism

Happy spring. As the Church of Satan approaches its diamond year anniversary, a new stylized rendering of the Sigil of Baphomet is presented. Hear more about the sigil, equinoxes, the false notion of Satanic victims, and some odd listener mail.

00:00 – Intro
02:10 – Equinox 2026 essay / Satanic Holidays
06:50 – More on the origin of the sigil
13:35 – Rest of the equinox message
14:27 – Satanic Victims? (essay by Magister Michael Rose)
21:02 – The letter – the thoughtful part and The Satanic Bible
27:46 – Being solipsistic with screaming Satanism
33:52 – And now the P.S.

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Satansplain #111 – “Why Are You A Satanist?” and online drama

“Why are you a Satanist? It’s a good question to ask yourself from time to time.” We’ll explore Magistra Blanche Barton’s essay which opens with this line, along with “Satanism discussion” forums that don’t have much in the way of Satanists nor discussion, and finding ones which do.

00:00 – Intro
01:16 – “Best of” the “hurr durr” voice?
02:39 – Satanecdote: Discord Drama
07:03 – But wait, it gets worse!
12:02 – More about Satanism forums
25:51 – About Blanche Barton
27:04 – About Blanche Barton’s “Why Are You a Satanist?”
29:14 – “Why Are You A Satanist?”
32:30 – Essay, continued
39:46 – Closing thoughts

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Satansplain #110 – Satanic holiday rituals, fake pages, antisemite weirdos, advice for young Satanists

Answering emails regarding fake “Church of Satan” pages, Satanic rituals for equinoxes and solstices, weirdos obsessed with Anton LaVey’s ethnicity, and advice for young Satanists.

Youth Communique: https://churchofsatan.com/satanic-youth-communique/

00:00 – Intro
01:07 – Dealing with fake “Church of Satan” channels
08:06 – Rituals for equinoxes, solstices, etc?
16:58 – Satanecdote: the holy water bottle
22:45 – “Does Satanism support Jews? I need to know!” Um, what?
35:50 – Advice for young Satanists

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Satansplain #109 – Adapting “The Satanic Rituals” for solitary ritual, Enochian Keys

“The Satanic Rituals” (Anton LaVey’s 1972 companion book to “The Satanic Bible”), presents many group rituals for Satanists. These rituals can however be adopted for solitary use as well. This episode also addresses some misconceptions regarding the role of ritual in Satanism, and answering listener questions about the Enochian Keys.

00:00 – Intro
01:17 – Reminder: Satanism is a religion
04:52 – Yes, we have ritual
08:44 – Reminder: ALL religion ritual is “LARPing”
09:45 – Group rituals
12:45 – Using TSR for solitary rituals
15:34 – Breaking down “Pilgrims of the Age of Fire – The Statement of Shaitan”
22:08 – Shaving the head with water from the Zamzam?
27:32 – The ritual, continued
32:28 – The importance of going through the motions / more details
39:54 – Enochian Keys
50:33 – Using other languages for the translation
51:33 – More on Enochian Keys

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Satansplain #108 – Satanic Music

What constitutes “Satanic music”? It’s certainly not all about heavy metal. But in this episode, we’ll explore why people make that association, along with many other Satanic angles to the topic of music, and also share some relevant writings from Anton Szandor LaVey.

00:00 – Intro
03:15 – Heavy metal?
08:22 – The “horns” gesture
14:29 – No, it’s not all that Satanic
16:12 – Church of Satan’s answer on Montel Williams
20:57 – Quote from Satan Speaks
27:10 – What is Satanic Music?
30:57 – Yes, We Have No Bananas, Hipsters
34:21 – Pre-rock music with devil themes
41:27 – Satanic Music parameters?
46:46 – Evocation / Music for the Ritual Chamber