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Satansplain #072 – Myth of Satanic Denominations (“No, it’s not like Catholics vs. Protestants”, part 2)

Continuing from the previous episode, a look at whether various “Satanic” groups can really be called different denominations of Satanism, with a particular look at groups formed after 1966, especially in the age of the Internet. No, it’s still not analogous to Catholics arguing with Protestants.

00:00:00 – Intro
00:02:15 – Review of episode 71, and why the Catholics vs. Protestants is still a bad analogy
00:07:25 – Why I don’t say “LaVeyan”
00:09:15 – Summary of episode 72, and “de facto Satanists”
00:14:26 – Dictionary argument and “Satanism is just any religion about Satan, right?”
00:18:54 – Summary of After 1966 – Theistic LHP Religions
00:23:04 – The Deism-to-Atheism Conspiracy Theory
00:31:15 – Non-theistic Satanic groups and Cevin Soling’s tax shelter (a.k.a. The Satanic Temple)
00:37:49 – Even more pseudo-Satanic groups I’ve seen
00:41:11 – No, these groups haven’t “evolved” anything
00:45:33 – Eco Satanism example, and collective action
00:48:43 – Rising up / Ecumenicalism
00:51:23 – Other lame reasons, e.g. wanting to do crime
00:55:06 – Other excuses: missing the boat on parts of Satanism, conspiracy theories of “Theistic LaVeyans”
00:57:27 – The Internet and the ease of declaring your own denomination/org
01:00:30 – Closing Remarks

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Satansplain #071 – No, Dummy, It’s Not Like Catholics vs. Protestants (part 1)

Exploring the allegation of Satanism having different “denominations”, why this view is inaccurate, and what’s really going on with these so-called “types of Satanism”. Also, why “gatekeeping Satanism” is a wise and necessary thing.

00:00 – Intro
02:16 – The problem of misinformation
06:32 – Reminder: Non-theistic religions exist, and Satanism is a religion
08:10 – The arguments I hear (re: this episode’s title)
11:26 – The TL;DL Summary (No, these aren’t “denominations of Satanism”)
16:16 – Who is (or gets called) a “Satanist”?
23:12 – What makes a religious denomination? Example: Catholics vs. Protestants
26:31 – Why “It’s like Catholics vs. Protestants!” is a bad analogy
30:31 – The Duck Test (and why it doesn’t work here)
33:15 – Before 1966, continued
36:42 – 1966: The Church of Satan and taking up a pejorative with pride

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Subscribe to Satansplain on Locals.com

Many have asked how they can support Satansplain. Well, here’s how! Create an account on Locals.com and join the Satansplain channel at satansplain.locals.com. It’s free. If you’d additionally like to show your support, become a subscriber for $5 a month. You can get the first month free if you use the promo code mentioned in the latest Satansplain episode.

So what the heck is Locals? Locals is a special website for content creators and their audiences. What will you see when you sign up and go to the Satansplain channel? Right now, I have written transcriptions of the first 30 or 40 episodes, but I’m planning on adding more soon: unreleased essays, photos from Satanism events, live streams, and who knows what else. Let’s take this one step at a time.

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Satansplain #070 – Supernatural vs. Supernormal

The twilight zone! The outer limits! The X-factor! No, we’re not talking about television shows. Rather, a phenomenon called the supernormal. A look into the supernormal and how it differs from the so-called supernatural.

00:00 – Intro
01:33 – Supernatural vs. Supernormal
03:44 – Supernatural claims
07:06 – Why I reject the “supernatural”
08:32 – …and equally-annoying Reddit Atheists
12:01 – Summary: the problem with both extremes
13:08 – …and the compulsively non-committal types
14:17 – Quotations from “We Are Satanists”
23:10 – Listener mail (why I disable YouTube comments)
26:45 – Satanecdote (Denny’s, 666)
31:34 – Listener mail (Satansplain & The Devil’s Mischief)
32:40 – Listener mail (Stepford Wives and the Church of Satan film list)

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Satansplain #069 – Satanic Sex

It’s episode sixty-nine. So, let’s talk about sex.

00:00 – Intro
01:23 – “We already know, Bill!” Do you?
03:05 – 1969: The Satanic Bible and counterculture
05:10 – The Satanic Bible, “Satanic Sex” (No, we’re not here to provide you orgies)
08:22 – “Free Sex” clubs (encounter groups) vs. actual sexual freedom
09:58 – We don’t care what you’re into, so long as it’s with consenting adults. Duh.
15:43 – Yes, even asexuality. We’ve been years ahead of you.
17:38 – Transvestites / Transsexuals / Transgender = OK. Shut up, whiners.
24:08 – Yes, you complainers from the other side, too: shut up.
26:44 – The Church of Satan: No forced social obligations
31:48 – No, Magus Peter H. Gilmore wasn’t on Satansplain to talk about the Olympics. Stop lying.
36:36 – Listener mail from “J”
41:16 – Bill’s Satanecdote
44:04 – Master of, not Mastered by

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Satansplain #068 – Psychic Vampires (Satanic Statement #6)

“Satan represents responsibility to the responsible, instead of concern for psychic vampires.”
That’s Satanic Statement number six, the meaning of which is covered in this episode of Satansplain. Also, some emails regarding Satanism and teenagers: the stereotypes versus the ones who “get it”.

00:00 – Intro
01:00 – Satanic Statement #6 and related essays
05:35 – “Not All Vampires Suck Blood!”
08:58 – Review: Envy vs. Jealousy
09:55 – Vampirized by groups
11:49 – “obligations [to] respective friends, family, and community”
15:15 – “oH iT’s jUSt seLfiSHneSs hurr durr”
27:47 – Letter from a teenage Satanist: “Am I a fake?”
40:08 – Satanecdote (reflections on a teenage friend)

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Satansplain #067 – Church of Satan: Cosmic Joy Buzzer (1975, 1976)

Satansplain explores writings from Anton LaVey from 1975 and 1976, debunking some of the internet myths from deceased devil worshiper Michael Aquino.



00:00 – Intro
01:48 – Internet stories about the 1975 “schism” and the “theistic Satanists” who parrot them
06:12 – “Hoisted By His Own Patois” (introduction)
11:25 – “Hoisted By His Own Patois” (letter by Anton LaVey, 1975)
20:32 – Satanecdote (“Devil’s advocate” / “Match made in heaven”)
22:30 – About “Cosmic Joy Buzzer”: introduction
23:50 – “Church of Satan: Cosmic Joy Buzzer” (Anton LaVey, 1976)
32:12 – About the phrase “Phase One Satanism”
33:38 – Essay, continued

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Satansplain #066 – 1966, The Black Flame, Get a Life!

The number 66 may not be 666, but it does prompt us to take a look at the year 1966, with the book “We Are Satanists” offering much insight into the foundation of the Church of Satan. We’ll also hear Anton LaVey’s later message to the scavengers and detractors of what he established (“Get a life!”), and the meaning of “the black flame”.

00:00 – Intro
03:20 – On (not) joining the COS: valid reasons and invalid reasons
09:41 – More lame reasons we hear
12:28 – Anton LaVey: “Get a Life” essay
16:13 – Santecdote
20:48 – Will AI replace comedians?
23:11 – The Black Flame
27:47 – Excerpts from “We Are Satanists” (and misuse of “Anton”)
30:15 – “Anton LaVey invented Satanism”
32:40 – All religion founders had their influences
34:21 – More from “We Are Satanists”

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Satansplain #065 – Satanism vs. Humanism

A look at Satanism and humanism, their similarities and more importantly their differences. Though to do that, we’ll have to first unpack some bigger topics, such as what makes a religion a religion in the first place. Also, some listener mail about Satanists and social media, as well as Satanic baptisms.

00:00 – Intro
01:21 – The Satanic Bible: “Humanism is not a religion”
02:27 – Satanism is a religion. Non-theistic religions exist. Yes, really.
05:16 – Atheism is not a religion. Neither is monotheism.
06:18 – Dogma: Why the Boy Scouts is not a religion
08:32 – The Dogma of Satanism
10:44 – What do we mean by “Humanism” / Renaissance humanism
13:27 – Secular humanism
15:33 – Similarities: Atheism and Freethought
17:24 – How Satanism and secular humanism differ (myth of “The Greater God”, etc.)
29:09 – Satanists on (or aren’t on) social media
33:40 – Satanecdote: Spam from da Hood
35:35 – Getting a Satanic baptism
40:22 – Bill M. is Marq Torien?

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Satansplain #064 – The Good Old Days

Were the “Good ol’ days” really all that “good”? We’ll explore Anton LaVey’s essay on the topic (spoiler: the answer is, “No!”), and a related college commencement speech from 2024 on the irrationality of claiming collective victim status, paying homage to George Carlin.

00:00 – Intro
00:58 – Satanism and how it relates to this topic
03:56 – “The Good Old Days” by Anton LaVey
20:10 – Satanicdote: Satanism lecture at an ESL class
23:20 – Introduction to the commencement speech
24:24 – “To the Class of 2024: You Are All Diseased”

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Satansplain #063 – The Balance Factor and Satanic Magic

The Balance Factor! Hear how this concept relates to the more broader concept of “magic” in Satanism, which of course means first addressing some misconceptions about Satanic magic itself. Also, answering some listener mail about the “LaVeyan Satanism” misnomer, a history-confused Wiccan, and other questions.

00:00 – Intro

00:56 – Rust’s email

02:06 – What is “The Balance Factor”? Working definition from We Are Satanists.

04:18 – Recap: Satanism is a non-theistic religion and this isn’t supernatural. RTFM.

09:50 – The Balance Factor, and greater magic for “that remaining push needed”

13:38 – The Satanic BIble on “The Balance Factor”

18:12 – Bill’s “ribbon-cutting ceremony” analogy

26:48 – “My Wiccan girlfriend says you should call yourselves ‘neo-Satanists’!”

32:00 – Why the term “LaVeyan Satanism” is a misnomer