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Satansplain #081 – The Satanic Rituals, part 2 of 3

In this second part of a 3-episode exploration of The Satanic Rituals, hear a closer examination of the book’s extensive introductions, plus the infamous Black Mass, “Masonic” ceremony mysteries tracing back to the Knight’s Templar, the Islamic-condemning rituals of the Yazidis, and the ritualized Seventh Satanic Statement, “Das Tierdrama”.

00:00 – Intro
01:35 – The Satanic Rituals: Introduction
03:50 – The Satanic Rituals: Concerning the Rituals
07:08 – Concerning the Rituals (continued)
11:03 – The Black Mass
17:40 – So why is it there?
23:50 – Ceremony of the Stifling Air
26:11 – Pilgrims of the Age of Fire
32:07 – German Lore: Das Tierdrama

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Satansplain #080 – The Satanic Rituals, part 1 of 3 (introduction)

In 1972, Anton Szandor LaVey released The Satanic Rituals, the companion book to The Satanic Bible. Yet it seems to be the one book of LaVey’s which Satanists often pay the least attention to. Satansplain presents a 3-episode exploration of The Satanic Rituals. Part 1 starts with a preliminary debunking of common Satanic ritual misconceptions, an overview of the “whys” and “hows” of Satanic ritual, some history on the book itself, an initial peek into the book’s contents, and a look at the general underlying human urge for ritual.

00:00 – Intro
03:49 – Reminder: Satanism is not Inverted Christianity
09:18 – Humans dig ritual / Annoying Questions We Get
13:18 – Explaining metaphors to the idiots who still don’t get it
20:13 – Excerpt from “The Rite Stuff”
22:04 – Infernal Names, John’s Letter
28:09 – The Satanic Rituals: About Publishing
31:17 – Reminder: Don’t Die a Group Ritual Virgin
34:50 – The Satanic Rituals: Release

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Satansplain #069 – Satanic Sex

It’s episode sixty-nine. So, let’s talk about sex.

00:00 – Intro
01:23 – “We already know, Bill!” Do you?
03:05 – 1969: The Satanic Bible and counterculture
05:10 – The Satanic Bible, “Satanic Sex” (No, we’re not here to provide you orgies)
08:22 – “Free Sex” clubs (encounter groups) vs. actual sexual freedom
09:58 – We don’t care what you’re into, so long as it’s with consenting adults. Duh.
15:43 – Yes, even asexuality. We’ve been years ahead of you.
17:38 – Transvestites / Transsexuals / Transgender = OK. Shut up, whiners.
24:08 – Yes, you complainers from the other side, too: shut up.
26:44 – The Church of Satan: No forced social obligations
31:48 – No, Magus Peter H. Gilmore wasn’t on Satansplain to talk about the Olympics. Stop lying.
36:36 – Listener mail from “J”
41:16 – Bill’s Satanecdote
44:04 – Master of, not Mastered by

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Satansplain #068 – Psychic Vampires (Satanic Statement #6)

“Satan represents responsibility to the responsible, instead of concern for psychic vampires.”
That’s Satanic Statement number six, the meaning of which is covered in this episode of Satansplain. Also, some emails regarding Satanism and teenagers: the stereotypes versus the ones who “get it”.

00:00 – Intro
01:00 – Satanic Statement #6 and related essays
05:35 – “Not All Vampires Suck Blood!”
08:58 – Review: Envy vs. Jealousy
09:55 – Vampirized by groups
11:49 – “obligations [to] respective friends, family, and community”
15:15 – “oH iT’s jUSt seLfiSHneSs hurr durr”
27:47 – Letter from a teenage Satanist: “Am I a fake?”
40:08 – Satanecdote (reflections on a teenage friend)

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Satansplain #067 – Church of Satan: Cosmic Joy Buzzer (1975, 1976)

Satansplain explores writings from Anton LaVey from 1975 and 1976, debunking some of the internet myths from deceased devil worshiper Michael Aquino.



00:00 – Intro
01:48 – Internet stories about the 1975 “schism” and the “theistic Satanists” who parrot them
06:12 – “Hoisted By His Own Patois” (introduction)
11:25 – “Hoisted By His Own Patois” (letter by Anton LaVey, 1975)
20:32 – Satanecdote (“Devil’s advocate” / “Match made in heaven”)
22:30 – About “Cosmic Joy Buzzer”: introduction
23:50 – “Church of Satan: Cosmic Joy Buzzer” (Anton LaVey, 1976)
32:12 – About the phrase “Phase One Satanism”
33:38 – Essay, continued

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Satansplain #053 – Let’s You And Him Fight!

“Let’s you and him fight!” cry the onlookers who’d like to see Satanists spar with Christians for their public entertainment. Let’s not. Also: the Satanic calendar year, the concept of I-Theism, and a surprising email from Nigeria.

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Satansplain #036 – Colored Sigils and other early 1970s oddities from the Church of Satan

Back in the early 1970s, the Church of Satan experimented with different hierarchy standards, from color-coded medallions to multiple ceremonial titles, eventually scrapping what didn’t work and keeping what did. Internal newsletters from the day share some insight into what that was like.

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Episode #019 – Harvard Radio Interview (2016)

Hear a full, uncut 2016 interview from Harvard University radio on the topic of Satanism and the Church of Satan, covering the basics and beyond.

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Episode #017 – On “Doing Nothing”

People who whine that the Church of Satan “does nothing” seem to have rather anti-Satanic ideas of what constitutes doing “something”. I’ll address this topic, along with finding fellow Satanists in the real world.

00:00 – Intro
00:56 – About Satanic essays & Satansplain
03:28 – “On The Doing of Nothing” (essay)
08:36 – What “should” be we “doing”?
10:36 – Maine school example / theocracy
13:36 – The folly of playing the copy-cat game
14:27 – Parody religions (of which Satanism is not)
16:48 – “FigHt fuR reLiJuS RiGhTs” / political fights
20:46 – “eDjuCayT dA MaSeS!”
21:37 – No, we don’t need grottos
24:46 – “Hi, I live in Potatosack, Ohio.”
26:24 – “BuiLd mE a sAtaNic goTh CLuB!”
28:20 – The bigger problem with “Well ‘somebody’ needs to do this thing for me.”
30:57 – Action happens at the individual level
33:50 – Demanding a Satanist do something for you?
37:13 – Thanks, Mark!
38:38 – Satanicdote
40:05 – Spotting a fellow Satanist in the wild
46:28 – Church of Satan membership and benefits
49:03 – Getting what you put into it
51:58 – Example: Radio Free Satan
57:29 – Member networking online
01:00:34 – Closing remarks

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Episode #005 – Satanism and Politics

Satanism and politics: a topic that real Satanists have had to explain many times, yet bears repeating! Also, Bill replies to some listener mail.

Image source: SchitzSatanicMemes.com, used with permission.