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Satansplain #054 – George Carlin and Artificial Intelligence

Recently, Artificial Intelligence was used to artificially construct a new comedy special of deceased American comedian George Carlin, titled “I’m Glad I’m Dead”. Hear a Satanic perspective on George Carlin, this A.I. creation, and A.I. in general, including the limitations of both A.I. and human intelligence.

00:00:00 – Intro
00:02:14 – Summary
00:05:38 – Who was George Carlin?
00:08:11 – Backing up my fanaticism / What makes Carlin Satanic
00:14:20 – Preface to “Brain Droppings”
00:19:01 – About “I’m Glad I’m Dead” and my review of it
00:26:49 – Review, part 2
00:34:25 – A.I. and Pentagonal Revisionism / Carlin’s creativity
00:37:55 – How does A.I. “work”?
00:41:40 – Is the human mind much different? / The limits of categorization
00:48:32 – Unsatanic conclusions
00:52:54 – Fuzzy Logic
01:01:22 – Human nature
01:04:45 – The related fallacy of “Satanism is anything I want it to be”
01:06:48 – The creation of something “new”

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Satansplain #053 – Let’s You And Him Fight!

“Let’s you and him fight!” cry the onlookers who’d like to see Satanists spar with Christians for their public entertainment. Let’s not. Also: the Satanic calendar year, the concept of I-Theism, and a surprising email from Nigeria.

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Satansplain #051 – Fine, Let’s Play the Dictionary Game

To those who would try to use the dictionary to discredit Satanism: Fine, let’s play the dictionary game. Also, Bill answers some questions about Satanic altars and selectively dealing with trolls on-line.

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Satansplain #048 – Satanic Ritual, part 1

Despite ritual being an integral part of Satanism, misconceptions still persist, even among some Satanists. Enjoy part 1 of a special two-episode exploring Satanic ritual. Happy Halloween!

00:00 – Intro
02:00 – Summary
03:38 – Finding space for ritual, eschewing “alternatives to ritual”
09:46 – Why we have Satanic ritual / Stop making excuses
18:10 – Why we have Satanic ritual: what The Satanic Bible says
20:46 – Reminder: Anton LaVey was an atheist
21:45 – The Satanic Bible, continued
23:47 – “Man needs ceremony and ritual; fantasy and enchantment”
26:53 – “…the same form of ritual which will sustain his faith in the truth”
30:32 – Yes, Satanism has dogma
33:34 – Fear of committment (Reminder: “agnosticism” isn’t a third category to opt out)
35:12 – The Satanic Rituals: “ceremony” vs. “ritual”
39:00 – Closing (Satanecdote)

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Anton LaVey was an atheist and Satanism is a non-theistic religion

Despite the claims of some illiterate devil worshipers, Anton LaVey was an atheist. Meaning, he did not believe deities to exist. That includes Satan as an actual deity. There are multiple, independent sources where he states this position. You can read many of these in the article “What, The Devil?” at https://www.churchofsatan.com/what-the-devil/ .

And as if that weren’t enough, here are some additional quotes not even included in that essay:

  • From 1971, from his “Letters from the Devil” column: “The Satanist fully recognizes that Satan is nothing more than a symbolic entity representing man himself; his carnal and physical desires, his freedom from enshackling doctrines, and his intellectual capacity to reject those elements of man-made law which prevent him from engaging in life to the fullest. To suppose that Satan is a substitute for the Christian “God” is entirely erroneous. Man himself is the God; Satan is merely the symbolic representation of the WHOLE man and is given a place in Satanic ritual as a strengthening device to affirm one’s own convictions.”
  • In 1973, a double-record set called “The Occult Explosion” included an interview clip of LaVey, explaining Satanism. He explicitly states at the start, “Satan is to us a symbol, rather than an anthropomorphic being.” Some devil worshipers try quote-mining the next parts where he explains that any members of the Church of Satan “who are mystically inclined, would prefer to think of Satan in a very real, anthropomorphic way. Of course, we do not discourage this because we realize that to many individuals, a picture — a well-wrought picture of their mentor, or their tutilary divinity, is very important for them to conceptualize, ritualistically. However, Satan, symbolically, is a teacher: the informer of the whys and wherefores of the world.” He then goes on to explicitly state that Satanists are not Satan worshipers. In any case, using anthropomorphic images of Satan for ritualistic purposes and to help conceptualize concepts still isn’t “theistic Satanism”, and LaVey stresses that Satan is only a symbol.
Anton LaVey interview excerpt used in “The Occult Explosion”
  • From his biography, The Secret Life of a Satanist, we find this direct quote: “Satanism is not just an atheistic stance but an anti-theistic stance. We prefer destruction of mystically-oriented religions through active opposition rather than simple non-participation.”

The topic of atheism and non-theistic religions is also thoroughly covered in Satansplain #016:

Another tiresome claim is that LaVey claimed to believe in Satan in a 1974 Cloven Hoof newsletter. The letter in question was written by Michael Aquino, whose conflicting theistic beliefs led him to his exit from the Church of Satan. Anteater-worshiping Aquino of course spent the rest of his life trying to discredit LaVey and the Church of Satan. Read LaVey’s words from his essay Hoisted by His Own Patois.

Yet another lame argument is that Magistra Blanche Barton “confirmed” LaVey’s belief in a literal Satan in “The Barton Letter”. But rather than answering the question “Did Anton LaVey believe in Satan?”, she chose to answer a different question: “Did Anton LaVey believe in Satanism and the Church of Satan?” He certainly did.

Additionally, keep in mind that an atheist who personally eschews the term “atheist” for themselves is still an atheist. George Carlin for example didn’t like using the term for himself, even though he undoubtedly was an atheist. The same with Tom Lehrer, Bill Gates, and many other famous atheists. A lot more people who don’t believe in a deity, however, became more comfortable with using the term by the 2000s with the New Atheist movement. The fact that the Church of Satan has likewise become more open with using the term still doesn’t change the fact that we’ve always rejected the notion of gods, thus making us atheists by definition.

Another common argument we hear is, “You can’t be an atheist if you say you are your own god. Because that means you believe in a god and are thus not an atheist!” This argument stupidly overlooks the fact that saying “I am my own god” is symbolic. When a Satanist says, “I am my own god”, it does not mean, “I believe myself to literally be a supernatural deity.” Rather it means, “I put my own self in the role that most other people put ‘God’ in. Meaning, I am the one whom is most important in my life. I am the one I ultimately aim to please. I am the one most responsible for my life, for better or worse. If I run into problems in life, it is ultimately up to myself, not an actual deity, to find a way out of those problems.” An analogy I use is that it’s similar to how an entrepreneur can simultaneously say, “I don’t have a boss” and “I am my own boss”; only an illiterate would call this hypocrisy.

In summary, people claiming to be “Theistic LaVeyan Satanists” seemingly can’t read, or at least lack the mental capacity to comprehend metaphors. Anybody claiming that Anton LaVey “really” believed in a literal Satan and that the Church of Satan’s position somehow changed later, is simply lying. Don’t take my word for it; look at the documented evidence instead of going by hearsay, anecdotes, or by poetic waxing misread by people who can barely type.

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Satansplain #042 – Religious, Not Spiritual

While some people love to state “I’m spiritual, not religious”, Satanists are instead religious, not spiritual. Hear a long lost essay on the topic, and answers to listener mail regarding the trans movement, social darwinism, collectivism, and other topics.

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Satansplain #036 – Colored Sigils and other early 1970s oddities from the Church of Satan

Back in the early 1970s, the Church of Satan experimented with different hierarchy standards, from color-coded medallions to multiple ceremonial titles, eventually scrapping what didn’t work and keeping what did. Internal newsletters from the day share some insight into what that was like.

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Satansplain #035 – Marilyn Manson, Marijuana, and Satanism

Answering listener mail about Marilyn Manson, marijuana, and other topics. Also, Bill gives his thoughts on his recent appearance on Comedy Central’s “Tooning Out The News”.

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Satansplain #034 – A Medicine for Melancholy (1992, 2023)

We’re living in some crazy times. What is a Satanist to make of it? A look back at Anton LaVey’s 1992 essay, “A Medicine for Melancholy”, and some surprising insight it offers for today.

00:00 – Intro

01:16 – Relevant Re-reading

03:36 – Religion during hard times

05:40 – Recap: Yes, Satanism is a religion. Really.

07:26 – Don’t be afraid of the “d” word

09:12 – Clown World, subjective jadedness

15:13 – “Demoralization Process”

16:45 – “A Medicine for Melancholy, or How to Avoid the D.P.s”

20:35 – LaVey’s 3 suggestions

27:18 – Comments on the essay, Nostalgia, ‘Member Berries

32:05 – Being a hipster vs. avoiding the D.P.s

33:05 – Bill’s argument for physical media

40:15 – Choices vs. indulgence

41:46 – Dangers of impulsion & compulsion

44:27 – “Instant gratification” and long-term indulgence